faggot slave's Blog

Well, i ordered the tube 30 days ago, and it will supposedly be done in 30-45 days, so in theory it could be here any day now.  The thoughts swimming through my head are mixed.  So far, i'm still in the "fantasy" mode, ie the concept of someone holding that much real control over me makes me hard as a rock and horny as hell.  Of course, when i'm hard and horny i like to play with my dick, sometimes just edging it and occasionally going all the way just to relieve the built up pressure so i can get something else done. But right now it's still under MY control when and if i get off.

Assuming that my partner, and possibly another guy, decide to be keyholders and don't let me get my way, the current "fantasy" mode will quickly change to "reality" mode in a quickly approaching and unstoppable moment.  i have no doubt that reality will be different than what the fantasy was, i just can't say i know exactly how different it will be.

During a recent online chat conversation, the guy told me that "you have no idea what suffering you will have going for a couple weeks without any release."  My reply was that i have an idea, i just haven't actually experienced it yet.  The longest i have ever been able to go without cumming was 3 days.  i only know how desperate i was to cum at that point, so i can only imagine how it will be for longer periods.  But, for whatever reason, the idea of it will continue to get me into trouble i guess.

When the device gets here, i'll start this blog on a more frequent basis.  Even if noone else is reading it, it'll be interesting for me to look back on my thoughts at different points of time.

i keep having these intermittent thoughts about all this ... do i really want this?  damn, this sounds hot!  will i regret it?  fuck, i'm horny!  how will i handle not being able to touch my dick or play with it?  Only time will tell, and it will probly be pretty damn soon.

So for now, i just play with it all i can cuz i never know how many more opportunities i'll have to do that.